Bhaktivinod Thakur has written this song “Aparadha Phale Mama”. The Official Name for this song is Sri Siksastaka Song 6. This song is taken from the book Gitavali. Bhaktivinoda Thakura says that because we live in material world maya devi’s influence is very strong. We might get affected any point of time. Govinda is very merciful as He is very compassionate towards all the fallen souls. With His mercy we can feel the ecstasy while taking the Hari naam. We should pray to Him that this ecstasy should always remain with us.
aparadha-phale mama, citta bhelo vajra-sama,
tuwa name na labhe vikar
hatas hoiye, hari, tava nam ucca kori’,
boro duhkhe daki bar bar
dina doyamoy karuna-nidan
bhava-bindhu dei rakhoha paran
kabe tuwa nama-uccarane mor
nayane jharabo dara dara lor
gad-gada-swara kanthe upajabo
mukhe bola adha adha bahirabo
pulake bharabo sarira hamara
sweda-kampa-stambha habe bara bara
vivarna-sarire haraobuń jnana
nama-samasraye dharobuń paran
milabo hamara kiye aiche din
ro-owe bhaktivinoda mati hin
(1) O Lord Hari, as a result of my offenses incurred in previous lifetimes, my heart has become hard as a thunderbolt, and feels no change upon chanting Your holy name. Now in utter hopelessness, O Lord Hari, I loudly sing Your name, and in great distress I call out to You again and again.
(2) O Lord who is compassionate towards the fallen souls! O origin of all mercy! Please give to me a drop of divine ecstasy and thereby save my life!
(3) When will an incessant stream of tears flow dripping and dripping from my eyes at the articulation of Your holy name?
(4) When will a faltering voice choked with emotion arise in my throat, and when will words garbled due to ecstasy come from my mouth?
(5) When will my body be filled with ecstatic rapture, and when will there be perspiration, trembling, and a stunned sensation again and again?
(6) When, out of divine ecstasy, will all consciousness be lost in my pale and discolored body? And when will I hold onto my very life under the shelter of Your holy name?
(7) This weeping Bhaktivinoda, who is devoid of all good intelligence, sobs, "O Lord, how will such a day ever be mine?"